4 Tricks To Keep Separation Anxiety At Bay

4 Tricks To Keep Separation Anxiety At Bay When youbecome a mom, you departure hearing, reading and talking a lot about staffelung anxiety.For the first 18 months of my sons life, I thought I was one of the lucky moms whose kid handled my absence in stride. After all,he warmed to friends and family immediately, going willingly (almost too willingly) into any pair of outstretched arms he encountered. He was a phenomenal sleeper, rarely complaining when Ilefthim in his crib and dozing all through the night withbarely a peep. And the first day I dropped him off at daycare, he waved me away with a big smile, nary a tear in sight (unless youre counting mine).Then came the second day.This time, as I began to walk out of the classroom, his face crumpled insheer panic. His mouth let out an ear-piercing wail as he reached for me, begging to be picked up and rescued. So I did what I thought any good mom would do scooped him up tight and tried to soothe him by telling him Id be back before he knew it. When I triedto put him back down, he wrapped his arms and legs around me in a death grip, refusing to put his feet on the floor. Eventually, he didonly to repeat the cycle all again.All the while, I ignored his poor teachers attempts to shoo me out the door. I shouldve listened. They knew a lot more about separation anxiety than I did. Every action I took that morning only made thingsworse.Dont do what I did. Instead, follow these simple tips to keep the separation anxiety at bay.1. Always say goodbye.Children need to know when youre about to leave. Sneaking out may save you some hassle in the moment but when your child suddenly realizes youre gone, theyre going to be even more upset than they would have been in the first place. Give your child the same courtesy you would give anyone, and say goodbye before you go off on your merry way.2. Dont make a spectacle. My son was already nervous when he realized I was about to leave. Drawing out the process by picking him up and pu tting him down over and over only intensifiedthe emotion of the situation. The next time you have to say goodbye to your child, a warm hug and kiss will do just fine. Lingering and coddling your kid just a little bit longer might seem like youre comforting them, but in reality, that behavior signals thatyouare uncomfortable about leaving. If you dont seem okay with leaving, your kid will definitely not be.3.Establisha goodbye routine.Kids do best when they know what to expect. Whether youre leaving your child at daycare, school or with a sitter, creating a consistent goodbye pattern will set them up for a pain-free separation. Remindthem that youre going somewhere an hour before so they have time to prepare. Tell them how long youll be gone. Even if they donthave a great sense of time, theyll take comfort in the assurance of your return. 4. When you go, stay gone.I learned this the hard way. I dropped my son off one morning, then had to go to the office to talk to the director. On m y way out, I thought, what the hell let me just peek my head in the classroom. BIG MISTAKE. Seeing my face made him think he was about to get sprung early. When he found out he wasnt, the vicious goodbye cycle kicked in all over again. Sowhile the urge tocheck in is tempting, keep in mind thatall the back and forth may be toying with your childs emotions.--Diane Levine is the Associate Creative Director of the award-winning branding and marketing agency Think Creative. She specializes in writing, branding, marketing and inspiring people to believe in their own awesomeness so they can find more joy at work and in life. She is a mom of two, a wife of one, and a collector of many pairs of high heels.